“That was the best day of my life.” Brady Neujahr, age 7

Many years ago we headed out on our boat for a family meeting. We did the usual family meetings stuff – we went over schedules, chores and the miscellaneous details of life. When we were done, we all went up to the front of the boat to snuggle and watch the stars come out. Our youngest son, Brady, suggested that we go around the circle and say nice things about each other. We had done this before, so I thought it was a great idea.

We simply began by choosing one family member and then went around the circle. When it was your turn, you had the privilege of saying three nice things about that chosen person. Each family member got their chance to say positive things about the chosen person. But there was a catch. No one could use an affirmation twice. You had to think of new things each time you went around the circle. If someone said what you were going to say, then you had to choose another affirmation. We all took turns. Each person had the experience of being affirmed by all the other family members. It was awesome. It was so much fun that we went around the circle 3 times. That night each family member was affirmed over 25 times.

To hear our kids affirming one another was amazing. I laughed, cried and learned a lot about my kids. I felt truly blessed to have such an awesome family.

This process was awkward at first, yet as we got into it, it was so much fun that we didn’t want to stop. Our “affirmation circle time” has become a favorite family tradition.

When we came in from the boat after our first affirmation circle our son, Brady, summed up the night by saying, “That was the best day of my life.” Wow! His words touched my heart. I once again cried. As I walked down the dock, I thought about the power of his words. The “best day of my life” is a strong statement. It tells me that my kids need more affirmation. I believe all kids need more affirmations. They do not need more stuff – they need more love.

The world can be a tough place. Our kids hear negative everywhere they go – at school, on the bus and in the neighborhood. I have read that by the time a child is 16 they will have heard over 150,000 negative remarks about themselves. It takes a lot of positive affirmations to counter the negative they hear every day. We can be cheerleaders for our kids. We can turn the tide by covering up all the negatives they hear with positive affirmations on a daily basis. The affirmation circle is a tradition that can increase your child’s self-esteem and family harmony. These circles give each person a safe place to be loved.

Variations/Suggestions: Try using the affirmation circle with people outside of your family.

• Work. Have each person go around the circle and share the strengths that the chosen person brings to the team. While this may be really awkward, keep in mind that the number one thing most people want in a job is affirmation and/or appreciation. Using circle time at work can increase productivity, change employee attitudes and create a place where people love to come to work.

• Youth Organizations. If you coach youth sports, mentor, kids/teens, teach at church, volunteer at school or you work with kids in any way – you have the opportunity to impact a child’s life in an amazing way. You have the opportunity to greatly impact a child’s life by affirming them. You may be the only one who has ever affirmed them. With kids/teens it may work best initially if you as the leader simply go around the circle and affirm each person. Then as the group gets comfortable, you can have them join in.

Challenge:
Make the time to have an affirmation circle with your family. Get out your calendar and commit it to your schedule right now. You will be amazed at the results of your first circle time. It could be the best night of your child’s life – one they will remember forever.