Among all the major executive mom-points- of-interest, the one that perhaps we’ve been most neglectful of is: marriage. So with a nod to Valentine’s Day, and with a view toward taking a moment to juice up the relationship that likely made you a mom in the first place…

Some thoughts from the new book “The Seven Stages of Marriage”


After interviewing over 1,100 married couples and different marriage experts, the authors found that over the course of a marriage, there are 7 distinct stages, each of which should be navigated with an understanding of that stage.


What are those 7 Stages?

  • Passion The initial period of marital heat, romance, and exploration.
  • Realization The everyday reality that emerges once marital passion fades.
  • Rebellion The return to self-centered interests, whether career, hobbies, family, friends, or at times, infidelity
  • Cooperation When partnership overtakes love as you share responsibility for children, home, health, and financial security.
  • Reunion The maturing of love and commitment as material and parental issues subside
  • Explosion The period of crises that are so common to adults in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, as parents die, careers struggle or change, and health crises emerge
  • Completion The full and final realization of love, acceptance, and surrender.


Assuming you’re closer to “Cooperation” (vs. “Passion” or “Explosion”)…

There are little things you can do to help reignite that connection, and we like these thoughts precisely because they are simply realistic reminders of little acts that can make a difference, as opposed to sweeping new gestures. (We love quick fixes):

  • Be funny. (And no, not sarcastic-funny, inclined as some of us are to go that route). A little kind-spirited humor is indeed the fastest way to douse a hot argument, and make you both smile.
  • Kiss. (What, you need to be told this)? The truth is though, that offering a longer-than- usual kiss at the start or end of a long day can give him pause– good pause.
  • Appreciate. That little, “thanks for picking up dinner tonight” is so easy to give, yet so easily forgotten. Especially if you want to be appreciated in return.
  • Remember. Gone are the days where you slaved over making that sentimental mix tape… but it’s easy enough to hit itunes and enjoy some musical memories from back when you were first dating.
  • And also… forget. Forgive your spouse’s shortcomings, then forget them (or at least try). It’s good to be gracious, even and especially to the ones you love most.



Learn more about the 7 Stages of Marriage by clicking the box above or visiting rd.com


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