It’s tough to adequately summarize the conversation we enjoyed with some of the nation’s top Executive Moms at our Fall 2005 event. However, some interesting themes emerged from the wisdom of the panel members: Pamela Hendrickson, Managing Director, Global Head of Lending Liquidity and Banking JP Morgan Chase; Linda Keene, EVP of Marketing, Scholastic; and Harriet Edelman, SVP, Business Transformation & Chief Information Officer, Avon:
   
It’s not about balance; it’s about integration.

All of our panelists expressed this idea in one form or another (and it’s an idea that we strongly support). When work plays an important role in a mother’s life, our panelists suggested that it’s inevitable– and also valuable– to have work and home be connected as opposed to completely compartmentalized.

 One panelist wryly noted her child’s first sentence was “Mommy go to work;” while our J.P. Morgan executive told of how she organized a class field trip… to the vault. At the same time, more than one woman noted the importance of focusing on the job when on the job… and focusing on home when at home.

Reject guilt.

The extent to which these seasoned executive moms have excised guilt was enlightening. With the same confidence that they have applied to their careers, they have simply not accepted guilt into their thinking. Part of their ability to do so seemed tied to acceptance: Harriet Edelman noted that she makes an extensive “to do” list everyday, and then usually “tosses half of it overboard”… but at the end of the day her attitude is that, “I still did my best.” Pam’s positive spin on the extensive global travel that she’s had to do over the years? Her kids have always had the BEST show-and-tell.
 
It’s easier, and harder, at the top.

The challenges of being an Executive Mom as one’s career ascends do not necessarily get better or worse– they change. All of our panelists agreed that with seniority comes more control over their schedule, such as having the ability to choose what meetings they want to attend and which they want to delegate. However, it was acknowledged that the jobs of upper-echelon executives never let up, and those constant demands require a strong support system. (Of course, a benefit of having attained this kind of success is that most of these women can afford the right support in terms of childcare, domestic help and more). Yet the most important support system they referenced was a spouse/partner who is, truly, supportive.
 
Lead by example.

One of the most positive thoughts of the day– these women feel a responsibility to set the right example about valuing their lives outside work as well. One great example: Pam told of mandating that everyone on her team do at least one “non-work” activity a week (whether it was leaving early to coach a Little League game, or taking a cooking class)… AND then they had to tell everyone about it!
 
Take care of your needs, too.

Tied to their confidence in banning guilt, these women expressed the importance of demonstrating to their children that Mom’s own needs are important, too. Linda Keene spoke passionately about how her own working mother was such a strong role model for her in this regard; as a result, her kids know that her birthday is no less important in their household than theirs! Citing a key airline practice as the best source of wisdom in this area, she reminded everyone that there is a reason that, if the oxygen masks drop on a plane, parents are advised to first put a mask over their own face before attempting to put a mask on their child– you can’t be a good caregiver if you have not taken care of yourself.

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