If there is any belief fundamental to the ideology of Executive Moms, it is that we are women with a terrifically complex, diverse array of interests that defy reducing into any simple label. Just because we are “working moms” does not mean our entire sphere of interest has to do with “work” and “mom.” Thus the potpourri approach to our “Executive Momorandums,” as week to week, we might care about the substantive and the frivolous; finance, an important new book, babysitter management, a convenient service, a cool shopping destination.

Yet the part of our sphere that we may have slightly neglected (if benignly) in our editorial attentions over time, is the part that made (many of) us moms in the first place: marriage.

I feel lucky to have a marriage in which little acts of kindness are regularly practiced (peppered, of course, with little acts of bickering; it’s been 11 years and we’re not on a sitcom); we manage the responsibilities of our home, our children and life in general in an unchoreographed yet balanced Pas de Deux. Often though that Pas de Deux involves, “Can you be home tonight so I can go this work thing?” or “You take H to school and I’ll take A” — hands in constant parallel motion, handing off and passing but not lingering to hold.

This weekend was actually our anniversary. Usually at this point, an anniversary that doesn’t end in a “0” or “5” gets marked with a nice dinner out together. However, due to a gracious last minute accommodation by my sister-in-law to come down for the weekend and babysit our two girls, we spontaneously booked a night at a B&B in New Paltz, NY — and got away — just us, as a couple.

In my constant mental accounting on time spent with the kids (see past blog post on “Working Mom Math“), I had to give myself permission to be away on those two days of the week I tend to covet as “family time.” Once, however, we were on the road, just the two of us in the car with two unoccupied car seats in the rear and no other competing demands about music selection, I allowed myself to give over to this transient liberation. The B&B wound up being both sophisticated and romantic (loved the Versace bedding and deep red walls); a perfect setting for reconnecting and for landing upon this fairly obvious epiphany: the couple time matters.