The Executive Moms Spring Luncheon – “Your Biggest Working Mom Questions of 2009”

We will be sharing more detailed highlights (and there were many) from the rich discussion that ensued between our stellar panel, our audience, and moderator Cynthia McFadden…

Moderated by:
Cynthia McFaddenc
co-anchor, ABC’s “Nightline”
and “Primetime Live”

On Family:
Dr. Gail Saltz
psychiatrist, best-selling author, “Oprah”
and “Today” show relationship contributor

On Finance:
Jean Chatzky
best-selling author, “Today” Show finance editor
and frequent “Oprah” contributor

On Career:
Tory Johnson
‘”Good Morning America’s” workplace correspondent
and CEO of Women For Hire

On Childcare:
Sheila Marcelo
founder and CEO, Care.com

Here Are a Few Select Quotes from the Day…

“Let’s first put this into context. 70% of women with children, work. We are a majority.” – Cynthia McFadden, in her opening remarks

“Should you put money into those 529 college savings plans right now? Yes– IF you are first putting money into a retirement plan. Parents tend to feel that they always have to do for their children first. But your first savings priority has to be for your retirement… College has financial aid. Retirement does not.” – finance expert Jean Chatzky (who incidentally thinks New Hampshire’s 529 college plan is the best).

There is a balance between trying to expose your children to new learning experiences and over-programming them in the interest of building their ‘resumes.’ What happens if you force a child to learn Mandarin? According to Dr. Gail Saltz, “He’ll likely wind up speaking beautiful Chinese… on Zoloft!”

“Never apologize to your children for working…. And I learned this working in the news business, which likes to cover children… but doesn’t actually LIKE them all that much.” – Cynthia McFadden

Subtle wordsmithing borrowed from Jamie Lee Curtis: “never say Mommy HAS to go to work.” Rather, tell them Mommy is going to work” or “Mommy wants to go to work.” – from Jean Chatzky

“A year ago, a big concern of working moms was ‘balance;’ now it’s shifted to: ‘how can I make sure I don’t lose my job?’ The best way to manage the fear is to consider what your ‘Plan B’ would be if you were to lose your job.” – career expert Tory Johnson

How can you talk to your children about the difficult times many of us are facing? “Depending on the child’s age, you can be honest with your children about your circumstances and involve them in a plan– especially if you know that what children need most is to be reassured that they will be okay, that they will be loved and that their family will be in tact.” – Gail Saltz

If times are tough, talk to your nanny the same way you would talk to you family about it. Be honest, set realistic expectations, and be as reassuring as possible.” – Care.com CEO Sheila Marcelo

“When you are with your children, you have to be really present for them. Which means putting the Blackberries away.” (A combination of self-aware laughter and Blackberry defensiveness on this one). – Tory Johnson (who was apparently ‘outed’ for hypocrisy on this one by her kids, when they saw her talking about it on “Good Morning America” with Diane Sawyer).

If you worry you are working primarily to pay your childcare right now, remember that most people’s salaries go to cover expenses. If you enjoy your work it’s far better to keep yourself in the career game, rather than struggle to re-enter several years later after a long absence.

There are ways to get creative with childcare. “At care.com we have a ‘Care Exchange’ now. You can also pool babysitting and make it feel like a playdate.” – Sheila Marcelo

From an audience member quoting Carl Jung: “The most profound psychological impact on a child is created by the unlived lives of their parents.”

“Maybe you can’t have it all. But you can have a lot.” – Gail Saltz

We also “twittered” the event and invited others attending to do the same, tagging it #execmoms. The results were tremendous and have already become quite viral. Read and you’ll see what some of our Twitter-savvy audience members deemed to be the most memorable nuggets as they were happening:

Search on

(and enter #execmoms)