With Thanksgiving approaching (my favorite holiday for its non-denominational nature and near-universal underlying sentiment) I’ve been wrestling with how having a genuine philanthropic spirit doesn’t always line up with actually dedicating yourself philanthropically, at least as much as we might aspire. After all, with a plate that runneth over with responsibilities, where are we supposed to find the room to heap a big charitable commitment on top? I realized this is a theme that has recurred in the history of Executive Moms: how people who essentially have no time to give … can still find ways to give back. And clearly this is a theme that resonates with many of you, given the response every time we raise it (further corroborating that there is an innate goodness to the members of Executive Moms)!

We are, after all, women who tend to like to do things in the biggest and best ways, with total commitment. And yet as we take a day to convene around the basic ideas of “thanks” and “giving,” is there any better time to remind ourselves that the little acts of giving can matter as much as the grand ones? Moreover, as parents, isn’t it as important to find the ways to instill a sense of giving and gratitude as values in our children?

With that in mind, a small but appropriate story: for several years now a dear friend of mine named Jennifer Goodman Linn has been in a valiant fight against cancer (little did cancer realize they picked on the wrong gal when it chose her). Impelled at first (as we often are) by her own situation, Jen channeled her boundless energy and determination into creating a larger cause that has become Cycle for Survival, a fundraising event benefiting the rarer forms of cancer that do not get the same attention and funding as the “bigger” ones. In short order this cause has become one of the fastest-growing charitable initiatives in the U.S. As this year’s event nears, my friend Jen is finding herself in the most serious fight yet for her life, and to the many concerned queries she has received (including mine) about how best to help her, her consistent answer is: “get involved in Cycle for Survival!”

Ultimately, when you hear that from a friend who is literally fighting to survive, suddenly, trying to survive a brutal work week doesn’t seem like such a pitched battle. The reasons you might not (like hating to ask others for money – true in my case – or not having any time) manage to be supplanted by just one reason you can. Your plate finds the room. And even though taking part in something like this feels like a small act in the scheme of things… it’s no less worthy. It is still a small act that matters.

In the meantime, my older daughter is about to turn 10 – the turning of her first decade – a milestone birthday that is as worthy as any of the excellent parties we have annually bestowed on her. My daughter Hannah has an uncommon level of kindness and empathy for someone her age. My daughter Hannah also has an entirely common level of interest in the fun of ripping open a lot of wrapping paper, and acquiring even more stuff than she already has. So when it occurred to me that there was an opportunity for her to use her birthday as an opportunity for her to give, versus get, I wasn’t entirely sure which instinct would prevail. When, without pressure, I proposed that perhaps she would want to ask her friends to give a gift to our Cycle for Survival team this year instead of a gift of the typical “jewelry from Claire’s” variety, she considered it. And within moments, her own perspective check kicked in as she realized that she might actually be able to do her part in something really important. Something that could help “Ice Cream Jen” (as she has affectionately called Jen every since she churned out an original flavor of “Hannahberry ice cream” several years ago). Or her indomitable Nana who has made it through four bouts of cancer and continues to believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Or, lots of other people. In fact, she has already inspired one of her best friends, whose mom is co-captaining our team with me, to do this same for her own 10th birthday.

As saccharine as it might sound, I am sensing in Hannah a little thrill from committing herself to this small – and yet also big – act. It just may be emanating in her like a gift that she has also already given to herself.

[Hannah with her “Project Runway” VIP Party Invitation … and the enclosure asking for a donation in lieu of gifts]

If you would like to learn more about Cycle For Survival or donate to our team, “The Hannahberry Bikers” … we’d have even more reason to give thanks.