There is nothing like being interviewed (for a job, or in this case, for a feature) to force a little self-reflection about how you got to be where you are, and why. This month the website “Big City Moms” (www.bigcitymoms.com) featured me as their “Mom of the Month;” I’m duly flattered and waiting for the accompanying crown and sash to arrive momentarily. (In truth of course, so long as my daughters think me worthy of the title most months, call me satisfied).

In the meantime, I thought I’d share a bit of our Q&A in that it hastened just that sort of reflection, and offers a glimpse into the back story of the creation of Executive Moms that I’d love to share with you most. I hope this gives an even broader audience of moms a perspective on why I think it’s so important for all of us to be proud of ourselves as mothers, as executives… and why I believe it is so beneficial for women like us to come together this way.

BCM – How did your life change when you became a mom?

Marisa: How did my life NOT change when I became a mom? Your orientation in the world is suddenly and permanently shifted from being largely about yourself, to being centered foremost around your child. My husband now wasn’t just my husband, he was the father of our child, and as many couples find, that quickly became the dominant focus of our shared world. And of course, as a woman continuing her career, for me one of the biggest life changes upon becoming a mother was trying to figure out how to embrace and satisfy both motherhood and that career.

BCM- What has been your most memorable moment (s) as a mom?

Marisa: This sounds like a cop-out but it’s sincere. For me the joy of motherhood is all of the little wonderful moments that string together like a set of pearls. The milestones, surely, like first days of school, but also the seemingly ordinary moments where my girls light up upon discovering something, achieve something new… or just laugh. Actually, I think one of my most favorite moments of the past couple of years may have been when my older daughter Hannah and I were lying on her bedroom rug, playing with her still-quite-new sister, Avery. Hannah and I did something rather unremarkable– ball up a piece of paper– but for whatever reason the sound and motion of it elicited baby Avery’s first real belly laugh. Sharing that moment of having my older daughter seize upon the reaction and continuing to theatrically crunch that paper to make her little sister laugh, and then watching my younger daughter respond with such delight… that to me is an iconic moment of the pure pleasure of motherhood.

BCM- What has been the biggest challenge for you in motherhood?

Marisa: I think the biggest challenge is that we’ve been so acculturated to artificial images of “perfect” mothers that it’s hard not to feel inadequate when you don’t spill with energy and zeal and creativity in every moment of parenthood. And really, NONE of us do! As a working mother, I often feel a particular urgency to make sure any time I am with my kids counts… and on balance, I think most of the time I do make it count. But the reality is there are times where I’m just not supremely patient with a whining toddler or a 3rd grader who once again can’t seem to find the hamper.

At a past Executive Moms event, former CBS “Early Show” anchor Rene Syler was our emcee, just as her book was released called “The Good Enough Mother.” I think that title was and is very resonant for many of us.

The other biggest challenge related to the above is finding any leftover time for connecting with other women, your spouse, and yourself. Part of the reason Executive Moms was created was to at least help very busy women have an express route to the first of these.

BCM – What inspired you to start your own business – Executive Moms ?

Marisa: Executive Moms was entirely inspired out of a personal need… which turned out to be a much more pervasive one than I had imagined. After the birth of my first daughter Hannah, who came into the world on an unusually cold December that left me adjusting to a newborn while climbing the walls of my apartment, I went to a “Mommy and Me” luncheon with a great sense of anticipation for meeting new mommy and baby friends. It was a surprise for me to find there, even here in the middle of NYC, this bastion of working life, that a great majority of the moms were not planning on continuing their work. Now– and I want to be really clear about this– I never felt any sense of judgment about women who were able to choose a life that didn’t entail work outside of the home (in fact I could not be more opposed to the whole “us vs. them” Mommy Mentality). However, what I did feel was a New Mommy fear that I would not find other women like myself who were grappling with the same challenges that I had (or that I and my child would have no new friends because we could not make a playdate on Tuesdays at 2:00)!

Thus, out of that simple need– and the ensuing insight that there are a vast number of women who are committed to both career and family and would benefit from connection with other women like them, along with helpful resources and ideas — Executive Moms was born.

Ironically, in the process, I wound up giving myself a 2nd career, as since I began Executive Moms in 2002, I’ve maintained a full-time corporate career throughout. Executive Moms is somehow my “night” or “cracks of my day” job, so feel free to question the sanity. Though overall it has been immeasurably worth it.

BCM – How do you manage your career and Executive Moms while being a mother and a wife? Any advice for moms?

Marisa: I really believe that every mom creates her own intricate dance (or juggle, if you prefer) that requires daily mental calculus of prioritizing and choosing. One of the concepts I actually detest most is the idea of “balance,” as it implies some kind of Nirvana state of equilibrium to which we’re all supposed to strive; since it doesn’t exist, reaching for it is an exercise in futility and frustration. I think it’s much more important for moms– working moms and all moms– to strive for making the best choices and compromises THEY uniquely can, to keep life moving in the best forward motion as possible. And whenever the pesty “G” monster does rear his head (you know, Guilt), I try (and in fairness I should emphasize try) to look at my kids, who are generally pretty terrific and well-adjusted, and realize they are the best litmus test for how well we are doing at this.

The other most important piece of advice I’d give, that Executive Moms continues to teach me, is that there are in fact a lot of really fabulous, confident, grounded, generally satisfied women/moms out there, and the value of surrounding yourself with such women whom we can feel are both like us and inspire us, (in the virtual or real world), is all most of us need to banish any sense of isolation and feel that much more equipped to thrive.

BCM- If you could give another mom or expectant mom one piece of advice, what would it be?

Marisa: I’ll reinforce the sentiments above: trust your instincts and remind yourself that you are probably a “More than Good Enough” Mother. Be supportive of all mothers, regardless of how closely their world mirrors yours (motherhood is hard enough without worrying about being judged by each other)! And lastly, for the moms among you who are also pursuing careers, consider joining Executive Moms and particularly the new social network we’ve just created on ExecutiveMoms.com. It is an easy and meaningful way to create those essential yet often elusive connections.